I feel a whole lot better mentally, thanks to a few bright people.

Let's say many things changed. I feel a whole lot better mentally, thanks to a few bright people. I have hopefully chosen the right gifts for them. Could't gift all of them, since some just help me out by existing, but I sure wish them the best wherever they may be. Some I do have a fleeting idea about, some are off my radar for almost a year. (and I would always think of Matilda Mann's song The Day That I met You when he comes to mind). Or even close to three. (And there goes UMI's wherever u r in my head) Sad truth is, not everyone you can keep, even if you miss them dearly. I for one would applaud them for the changes they made in their life, because they take a great deal of bravery. Even if that means we are no longer sharing the same space. 

Just for me, I am posting a stylized drawing of one of them.

Just for me, I am posting a stylized drawing of one of them. Who knows who might visit this website. Maybe one day? It's not anything to hold onto for dear life, but hope and wish for a chance. A bit of luck. Who knows? I feel so grateful and lucky already, there might be a possibility (somehow feels like ILLIT's song Lucky Girl Syndrome). Knock on wood though. Don't want to loose my lucky streak. Altough even that is just made by life's view. You can bet he luckiest person in the world and not see it. And vice versa.

So I am coming back…and hopefully soon. Fully.

So I am coming back…and hopefully soon. Fully. That means with an e-shop, new items in stock and even some last-chance sales. Yeah, I decided for quite some changes. Some products will stay while others will be less pricey so they can find a new happy home. I sure hope the changes will be taken well. I decided to stop making stuff that feels not completely thought through. I want my things to carry meaning, beauty and most importantly happiness (in a similar way like in MARINA's song Happy). And to convey it too. That's why I chose those projects and turned them into e-shop items. Although the price will sometimes be slightly higher, I still think it will be worth it for some of the things I've made. Or not. I guess it will be upto all of you.

I want to thank every single one of you in this blogpost too.

I want to thank every single one of you in this blogpost too. The way the views didn't completely die on my website kept me going. I felt like someone still cared. Made me feel very happy. I had completely different plans with my products, but realized I couldn't fool myself too long and neither I could fool you. The things I put so much love into at first could not be made again, because so much has happenned in my life that they felt distant and no longer familiar. No longer like home. So no more of that. I'll sell the items that still have that good energy, but no new one would be made. It would feel low-effort, dishonest and just not fair to you, who kept me going and believing that I would come back. I wish I could have been stronger and keep you updated though all the hardships, but I wasn't. I was stuck, and I didn't want to keep you stuck with me. (Just like in Chevy's song If I Could Ride a Bike) I guess that's fairly understandable. Hopefully. 

Nothing all that major can be happening at all, but you feel like the world is ending.

There were also those who wanted me to fall down and never get up I suppose. But there's still some fight in me left (pretty much got my spirits lifted like in MEOVV's song Hit 'Em). I don't want to give up everything just because sometimes you put your hopes into wrong person and then build the up on non-existent base. And trust me, I wanted to give it all up all over again. When you feel like you got out of one slump, there comes another trotting along. Once again, a perspective. Nothing all that major can be happening at all, but you feel like the world is ending. So I guess it's decided. It's not worth crying over spilt milk, that was never mine to begin with. I used to trust someone (felt about them in a similar way to the Scott's song Midas), it turned out not so good for me. Sometimes your expectations don't meet reality.

And I know, it's all easy when sadness turns into anger and anger into acceptance.

And I know, it's all easy when sadness turns into anger and anger into acceptance. All that process isn't easy though and I know it (often I have the same feelings like in Alexandria's song Always An Angel). Oh don't I know it. Try and wait out the storm. It's scary and painful, but it will subside eventually (trying to always remember the song Human Being by Anna Vaus). And no matter what your storm is linked to, try to always find someone trustworthy to talk to. I say trustworthy, because some so called close ones will try to put all the blame on you. Say that you're useless. That you're so lucky to have time to care about your wellbeing. That it is a privilege to feel that way. Wholeheartedly meant: ¨Screw them!" You deserve to be heard out, you deserve the help and if nobody's around you to do it, shame on them. Seek a professional out then, please. 

As much as we want to make it out on our own, nothing beats a good conversation and a helping hand (and getting better sometimes feels like Mree's song In The Kitchen). Trust me. That comes from someone so socially anxious it's almost a paradox.

You should do that anyway, but I know how hard it can be to admit that you need that. Speaking to someone who will understand is the first step towards that though. You should never be dealing with these plights alone. Mental health is just as important as the physical wellbeing. Také care out there. I was lucky enough to withstand it all only because I had my own safety net. I might not have friends, perfect family, I might be a homebody, but I still do have those, that will help me if I need it. Try to make that happen for you. If that's not possible right now, try as much as you can to find a situation when you can make that a reality. As much as we want to make it out on our own, nothing beats a good conversation and a helping hand (and getting better sometimes feels like Mree's song In The Kitchen). Trust me. That comes from someone so socially anxious it's almost a paradox.

I even finally got back to book writing, illustration and all that good stuff.

There wil be more coming to this blog, and soon, to the whole website. I even finally got back to book writing, illustration and all that good stuff. I'll share some of my favorite things in the world, some more of the upcoming stuff and hopefully, I will stay active for some time. Sometimes you need a break to gather your strength back, so let's hope I won't lose it anytime soon.