An honest life update

Honest, huh? Does it really matter if I am honest when barely anyone is? Well, hello there. Pessimistic and unusual start to a blogpost, ain't it? But it's not all clouds and rainstorms. Simply put, it's more like when it rains than it pours.

I've been quiet these past months and believe me when I say I had a reason. Went through hell and back, and now I am fighting for my little piece of heaven. Or haven? Past the point. I am not going to go into depths of what went wrong, that is not something I want to spread here, not this type of energy. But everything happens for a reason. Even the bad. It brought some good things as well. Somehow managed to resolve issues with my father (at least to some extent), met people in my day to day life I thought I might never get to meet in my entire life. Life's hard, but sometimes there are beacons. 

I lost my ability to craft for a couple months, and I'm just getting back into it. Working hard, but mindfully. The e-shop is still on its way, don't you worry. Just a bit of a postpone. I hopefully will get it running in a few months time.

People around me…or further away from me have not been exactly helpful though. Lost a lot of people I used to value. I guess it was baggage. I don't mean to sound rude, but I guess I inevitably will. Dissapointment is eye-opening, but very harsh on the mind. I can say I basically have no friends. Not even peers. And I think I'm fine with it. I have my mom, I have my cat – I have my safety net in them. Let the others go where they want, no benefit in keeping someone when they clearly just came to use and abuse. That said, burgundy red is terribly out of fashion. Iykyk. And you do know, I bet. Keep everything vague, just to not be bound by anything in the world. You win, okay? I guess that works too.

I will keep you updated about the next steps in my journey. Healing journey as well. I am hurt and beaten black and blue by life, but that doesn't mean I won't be able to stand up again. Hopefully soon. Keep your spirits as high as you can folks. Things are hard, but I hope we all get to a better phase. Now it's just…difficult.

Talk soon (hopefully).
Not hopeless but not hopeful either,

Stella